That's right, today I am young and sweet, only seventeen, though I've been a dancing queen for a few years now. I've often read and heard people talk about their birthdays in very different ways than I do. There's those who hate getting older, are afraid of the future, feel they have wasted their lives up to now, or don't want to create expectations for a day that is just like all the others. While I see where these people are coming from, and I think that's totally valid, that's not at all me. Today, I choose to be happy. Actually, almost every day I choose to be happy, but if that doesn't always work out, I accept it. Not today, because on my birthday I am determined to have a good day. Once in 7th grade I allowed the day of my birthday not be such a great day and I still regret that.
So today, I will wear an outfit that I feel sexy and comfortable in. I will go out for dinner. Most importantly, I will put the struggles of life on hold for 24 hours and enjoy the one day that society gives me for no real reason. If I don't make an effort to be happy today, I won't be, because I end up spiraling into an existential crisis about how shallow and useless birthdays are. So today I am the physical embodiment of the phrase "fuck it".
I'm not saying I will be miserable if I don't try, but today has the potential to be a bad day. I have rehearsal until 7PM (this has been the case all week) without cast dinners, and next week is tech week. Today is also the deadline for Questbridge, and Lisa Micele is in New York until Monday, so I had to finish it without her help. Stress and lack of sleep are definitely on the table.
However, last Saturday, my life took a surprising turn. That makes it sound like I won the lottery, which, it felt like that, but it doesn't have as big of an impact. On Saturday morning I was woken up by my bedroom door opening. I thought I was dreaming, I was convinced, because my mother was there. My mother, who last I heard was 5,000 miles away in Brazil! She was in my room! We had brunch, spent all of Saturday shopping, and then we went to the movies. It was a dream come true. Throughout the week she has been helping me with college stuff and generally maintaining sanity.
So regardless of what else life throws at me today, I can handle it and be happy, not only because my mother is here with me, but because I chose to.
Happy Birthday Cocoa!
ReplyDeleteThis is really sweet, and I like what you said about choosing to be happy. Consciously taking a step back from acting jaded all the time is hard for me, but I do understand why it's so important.
I hope you and your mom have a great time reconnecting.
Good luck with Tech Week!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, COCOA!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I really liked this post. I especially like the idea that a birthday is a gift from society which you don't have to repay. It's true, life sucks most of the time and our task is to find what makes it great in order to be happy. Most days, that's a hard task. However, with our loved ones by our side, and the date proclaimed our, on one day of the year, it becomes easier. Great post, Cocoa!
DeleteHappy belated birthday Cocoa!
DeleteAlthough this will probably fly directly in the face of Ms. Majerus' thoughts on procrastination, I do feel that it's vital to at least have a couple hours to yourself over the course of the week to "decompress". I'm glad (and slightly envious) that you were able to spend a full day ignoring the stresses that we all face.
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ReplyDeletehappy birthday!! I love how your personality shines through this post. Your happy demeanor always brightens up my day! Also how in the world did your mom fly 5,000 miles without you knowing, i feel like there should have been some clues lol. I hope you have many more very happy birthdays to come :)
I agree that we must choose to be happy. Whenever I start thinking, "I have a reason to be upset," it's all downhill from there. Sometimes we can't help but be upset, but I've found that if I find positivity to cling to, I will feel much more capable to handle whatever the situation is. This post is well written! I hope you and your mom get to spend a lot of time together.
ReplyDeleteThat was very inspiring and has made my day. I really loved your post and I love my mom too. She is what helps me through my days, besides you of course.
ReplyDeleteThis is so sweet. I'm glad that you got to see your mom on your birthday! It's always wonderful to see people you're close to when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteThis post actually made me think back to my last two birthdays - I didn't celebrate either with family, since I wasn't in town. It's funny, without people to remind you of how important these days can be, you forget to appreciate them (or forget them entirely).