That's right, today I am young and sweet, only seventeen, though I've been a dancing queen for a few years now. I've often read and heard people talk about their birthdays in very different ways than I do. There's those who hate getting older, are afraid of the future, feel they have wasted their lives up to now, or don't want to create expectations for a day that is just like all the others. While I see where these people are coming from, and I think that's totally valid, that's not at all me. Today, I choose to be happy. Actually, almost every day I choose to be happy, but if that doesn't always work out, I accept it. Not today, because on my birthday I am determined to have a good day. Once in 7th grade I allowed the day of my birthday not be such a great day and I still regret that.
So today, I will wear an outfit that I feel sexy and comfortable in. I will go out for dinner. Most importantly, I will put the struggles of life on hold for 24 hours and enjoy the one day that society gives me for no real reason. If I don't make an effort to be happy today, I won't be, because I end up spiraling into an existential crisis about how shallow and useless birthdays are. So today I am the physical embodiment of the phrase "fuck it".
I'm not saying I will be miserable if I don't try, but today has the potential to be a bad day. I have rehearsal until 7PM (this has been the case all week) without cast dinners, and next week is tech week. Today is also the deadline for Questbridge, and Lisa Micele is in New York until Monday, so I had to finish it without her help. Stress and lack of sleep are definitely on the table.
However, last Saturday, my life took a surprising turn. That makes it sound like I won the lottery, which, it felt like that, but it doesn't have as big of an impact. On Saturday morning I was woken up by my bedroom door opening. I thought I was dreaming, I was convinced, because my mother was there. My mother, who last I heard was 5,000 miles away in Brazil! She was in my room! We had brunch, spent all of Saturday shopping, and then we went to the movies. It was a dream come true. Throughout the week she has been helping me with college stuff and generally maintaining sanity.
So regardless of what else life throws at me today, I can handle it and be happy, not only because my mother is here with me, but because I chose to.
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Thursday, September 13, 2018
don't get sick, it sucks
I don't get sick. That's just a fact about me that I always carry with me, because it's true. It's very difficult for me to get sick. I always eat my fruits and veggies, I try my best to sleep well, and I try to get some sunlight every now and then. However, I still got sick this week!
Then I realized something. The thing we forget about health is that our mental, physical, and emotional states are all connected, and impact each other. If you're too stressed at school and constantly frying your brain, or if you're heartbroken, or if you never relax, you will get sick. Sickness is your body's way of telling you something's wrong, and you can have all of the physical stuff in order, if the other two are out of wack, you're still vulnerable.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while we pay attention to not share drinks, and don't hug sick people, and stay home when we're feeling bad, it's all pointless without the mental and emotional. That doesn't mean that the other stuff isn't important, it is. I fully support the ideas expressed in Dr. Majerus' Limerick: A Sickly Student. I'm just saying, that's not the only thing.
So, every now and again, allow yourself to cry , get back into that hobby that you've been putting off, take a walk outside, talk to a friend, and not think about your homework for a bit. Even if you feel fine, and the work is not stressing you, it's still beneficial to step out a little bit.
And always remember to DRINK WATER.
Then I realized something. The thing we forget about health is that our mental, physical, and emotional states are all connected, and impact each other. If you're too stressed at school and constantly frying your brain, or if you're heartbroken, or if you never relax, you will get sick. Sickness is your body's way of telling you something's wrong, and you can have all of the physical stuff in order, if the other two are out of wack, you're still vulnerable.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that while we pay attention to not share drinks, and don't hug sick people, and stay home when we're feeling bad, it's all pointless without the mental and emotional. That doesn't mean that the other stuff isn't important, it is. I fully support the ideas expressed in Dr. Majerus' Limerick: A Sickly Student. I'm just saying, that's not the only thing.
So, every now and again, allow yourself to cry , get back into that hobby that you've been putting off, take a walk outside, talk to a friend, and not think about your homework for a bit. Even if you feel fine, and the work is not stressing you, it's still beneficial to step out a little bit.
And always remember to DRINK WATER.
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
"adulting"
You always hear it on not-that-funny romcoms, or TV shows,trying to prove that they're funny because the characters, who are clearly fully grown, aren't actually adults. They'll have a joke, or a dialogue, or even a whole scene, dedicated to how much they hate the word "adulting". They'll talk about how there's really nothing different, and how saying that they're adults only makes them feel old.
I respectfully disagree. Being an adult has nothing to do with age. In fact, almost nothing in life does. It's about mentality. I feel like in some areas of my life, I am an adult. I catch the bus back home at the end of the day trying to remember if I took the chicken out of the freezer for dinner; if I have time, I'll wash all the dishes in the sink whenever it starts to accumulate; and I always make sure to eat at least 3 fruits a day whenever possible. In most aspects of my life, I think and act like and adult, because I've had to.
However, in whatever areas I don't have to, I fight it as much as I possibly can. At school, I sometimes walk around barefoot on the first floor, even though I've been told off before; unless I'm working, I avoid sitting in chairs "normally"; in rehearsal, I always take my dramatic side over the top, and make unnecessary jokes that put us way behind schedule, just to get a few laughs. In a lot of aspects of my life, I allow myself to be childish, because I've had to.
If I could spend the rest of my life falling asleep on the couch and magically waking up in my bed, I would. If I never had to make chocolate milk for myself, and could instead have my mom do it, in whatever way it is that moms do that just tastes so much better, I would. If I could go to fancy restaurants and not be expected to just sit still for 2 hours, but instead, wander over to the playground and run around, I think I would. Maybe.
But those who do face life head on, whether it be at 15 when living alone for the first time, or at 40 when their parents throw them out of the basement, it's not usually something we choose. It's something that comes from the choices we make.
"Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out." That line is from one of my favorite movies, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and I think it perfectly represents what "adulting" is. We carve our path through life from the choices we make, and those choices require certain behaviors from us, and whether we accept those or not is what determines if we are "adulting".
In order to fully be adults, we have to choose to accept the responsibilities. Don't make me quote Spider-man, but Uncle Ben had a point. I accept that parts of me are adult-like, because I made a choice to live without my mom, and that required me to grow up. And while I never chose to be an adult, I accepted it as the "Terms and Conditions" for other decisions in my life.
So if you want to spend your life just going out drinking with your buddies and talking about how much you "hate this adult life," that's up to you, but that is not "adulting". That is living out a sitcom, where no one ever goes to work, but they all have fancy apartments and great food all the time. However, if I have to learn to separate white clothes from colored ones in order to get where I want to go, then I will.
I respectfully disagree. Being an adult has nothing to do with age. In fact, almost nothing in life does. It's about mentality. I feel like in some areas of my life, I am an adult. I catch the bus back home at the end of the day trying to remember if I took the chicken out of the freezer for dinner; if I have time, I'll wash all the dishes in the sink whenever it starts to accumulate; and I always make sure to eat at least 3 fruits a day whenever possible. In most aspects of my life, I think and act like and adult, because I've had to.
However, in whatever areas I don't have to, I fight it as much as I possibly can. At school, I sometimes walk around barefoot on the first floor, even though I've been told off before; unless I'm working, I avoid sitting in chairs "normally"; in rehearsal, I always take my dramatic side over the top, and make unnecessary jokes that put us way behind schedule, just to get a few laughs. In a lot of aspects of my life, I allow myself to be childish, because I've had to.
If I could spend the rest of my life falling asleep on the couch and magically waking up in my bed, I would. If I never had to make chocolate milk for myself, and could instead have my mom do it, in whatever way it is that moms do that just tastes so much better, I would. If I could go to fancy restaurants and not be expected to just sit still for 2 hours, but instead, wander over to the playground and run around, I think I would. Maybe.
But those who do face life head on, whether it be at 15 when living alone for the first time, or at 40 when their parents throw them out of the basement, it's not usually something we choose. It's something that comes from the choices we make.
"Not everything comes along just when we want it. There are times when decisions just have to be made, or you certainly will miss out." That line is from one of my favorite movies, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, and I think it perfectly represents what "adulting" is. We carve our path through life from the choices we make, and those choices require certain behaviors from us, and whether we accept those or not is what determines if we are "adulting".
In order to fully be adults, we have to choose to accept the responsibilities. Don't make me quote Spider-man, but Uncle Ben had a point. I accept that parts of me are adult-like, because I made a choice to live without my mom, and that required me to grow up. And while I never chose to be an adult, I accepted it as the "Terms and Conditions" for other decisions in my life.
So if you want to spend your life just going out drinking with your buddies and talking about how much you "hate this adult life," that's up to you, but that is not "adulting". That is living out a sitcom, where no one ever goes to work, but they all have fancy apartments and great food all the time. However, if I have to learn to separate white clothes from colored ones in order to get where I want to go, then I will.
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